8:00pm Trying to write my profile. Surrounded myself with a book on quotations ( will appear cerebral and flawless), a book called Bittersweet ( bunch of feel good essays  scattered  with the demented moanings of some sad women scorned… but will assuredly help me sound …inspirational?!) and the latest. Elle magazine ( will help me appear sexy hip and a fundi on the girlfriendology zeitgeist)  Ok am ready for cool cheeky expose type biog writing on yours truly…er…perhaps a little glass of whiskey would aid  and abet said masterpiece?

 8:15pm…Have written 5 sentences and then erased all…perhaps  the day I went to school without knickers on in grade 3 and attempted to do cartwheels is a trifle  superfluous?....hmmmm…feeling a bit peckish…perhaps more food would  be good idea …full stomach…active brain ..or is that active stomach, full brain ? I get so confused

 8:45pm  Ok. Have finished only 5 Ferrero Rochers .. and now heating up Weighless macaroni and cheese…will settle down and start writing straight after this…need another book for reference…hhmmm…Would The second law of thermodynamics help? Or Ayn Carillo’s Good Vibrations be a better option? Newtonian Physics versus serious cool stats on the delicious underbelly of the world of sex toys? Hmmmm decisions decisions!

 00:27am Uurrrggghh! Feeling slightly flatulent! Have finished box of Ferrero Rochers… 2 cans of tab and a whole tub of Woolies pineapple slices. Have read ELLE front to end …..have finished Ayn Carillo and amazed at sex facts…Did you know that the number of vibrators sold in Babeland  went from 500 in 1993 to 167 250 in 2005!  Ok ok! Am not total twit…may have only written 7 words on my profile 

‘Roxy Sydenham, has green eyes and a …pleasant overbite’

 …but got sidetracked by deeply disturbing facts re  S.A fem stats featured in ELLE. Did you know 1 in 4 women are in abusive relationships? And despite the fact that rape has decreased by 8.8% , 1 in 3  women are raped in this country? Did you have the faintest black- nail- polished- clue that over 56 000 cases of domestic violence were reported in 2006 alone?  Well… did  you? Am feeling slightly queasy but not sure if  Ferreros repeating on me …or sad disgust at said facts? How can I ease into my lust for Jimmy Choo shoes now that have found out that in S.A a women is six times more likely to be killed by an intimate partner.. more than anywhere in the world?!!! Must chat to Sex in Suburbs moms… must do something?! Must save world…. become vigilantes perhaps? Or superheroes?  Get sexy superhero suits made? By Abigail Betz …or Gavin Raja? ………….Wonder how much they would charge? If gonna save the world …might as well look swish doing it huh?

WHOOOOOAH! Just tripped over DSTV magazine Hurumph! Who put that there?!! Anyway …tripped and landed in bed …. Good thing. Must sleep. Must dream ….Me and Gerard butler saving the world ….hmmm. Goodnight.